I am lonely, and I want you to stay with me.
Okay wait, that’s a lie.
I don’t care where you go, or what you do, so long as you don’t finish.
I’m sorry, please allow me to introduce myself.
I go by many names.
Fear. Laziness. Doubt. Anxiety.
I am the anthem of the coward.
And the banner of the sloth.
To the underachiever I am a warm familiar blanket.
I remain as always a trusted ally to the victim.
And should you ever need me,
You can always find me in the same place.
The Halfway Hotel.
Halfway is the midpoint between all things.
It is my home. And it’s where I’ll keep you if you let me.
Halfway is the most perfect spot in the world.
Why would you want to go anywhere else?
Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it to you.
Halfway to success is also Halfway to failure.
If you only do half of a thing,
You don’t have to lift single a finger,
Or take another step,
All you have to do is quit.
Just stop. Do nothing.
Doesn’t that sound perfect?
Halfway to excellence, is also Halfway to mediocrity.
You’re not the type of person who desires recognition.
Leave that to the egomaniacs and narcissists.
You are a much better spectator than a performer.
No expectations. No limelight. And no accomplishments.
A life free from the reprehensible burden of reflecting on past achievements.
Doesn’t that sound ideal?
I told you Halfway is perfect.
Halfway to brilliance is also Halfway to stupidity.
There’s freedom in always being able to say, “I don’t know.”
Whenever someone asks something important.
You don’t want to sound like a know-it-all. Do you?
Ignorance is bliss, remember?
You’ll find all the ignorance you want.
Right here at Halfway.
Halfway is waiting for you.
I’ve got a spot warmed up and ready to welcome you.
Comfort and rest can be yours.
Whatever you’re trying to do,
Stop chasing the rigorous nightmare of success and brilliance.
Frothing at the mouth over excellence and accomplishment.
Stand still and daydream with me for a while.
About the safety of anonymity.
The comfort of mediocrity.
And the simplicity of stupidity.
Join me in the coliseum of the defeated.
Don’t you dare keep moving towards success.
Trudging on the trail that leads to your dreams.
That road is difficult.
That road requires sacrifice.
And I won’t let you go without a fight.
I’ll turn potholes in the pavement,
Into chasms and canyons,
When success lies just beyond your fingertips,
I’ll convince you that it’s miles out of reach.
So if you’re thinking of leaving.
Don’t accomplish your goals.
Don’t cross the finish line on your dreams,
Through sweat-laden struggle and effort.
Stay with me and we can watch,
With furtive glances behind tinted windows
As someone else takes hold of the life you’ve hoped for.
And lays claim to the dream that once was yours.
There’s always a vacancy.
Here at the Halfway Hotel.
We can fill it together.
With a lifetime of regrets,
And opportunities lost,
And time… wasted.